She Wants To Be Saved
by Snooglez
Summary: Upon Alice's parting Mirana comes across a different kind of battle, with herself. Will her Champion save her from this fight as well? *Very dark themes ahead* Malice & Femslash!


Chapter 1: Coming Undone

Author: Snooglez

Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters from Tim Burton's magnificent creation "Alice in Wonderland".

Rating: Strong M

Pairing: Alice/Mirana (Erm…is there any other for this fandom?)

AN: This one's super dark. It's an idea that was nagging at me. It does involve character self mutilation. You've been warned. It does have a happy ending though. Shit, I do believe there can never be enough Malice stories so I'm going to do whatever I can to contribute. I'll do this in parts as I write, so prepare for more.

….

The White Queen dismounted her steed safe within the surrounding sanctity of Marmoreal. The golden crown, a token of their victory, neither shook nor quivered about the whiten tendrils lain in perfect form on her head as she coasted the path up the courtyard. A sea of bows and curtsies ensued in her glorious wake. Lazily motioning hands held shoulder height and two careful swishing legs that held the gentle rhythm of her wondrous pouf of a dress, Mirana always carried herself in the utmost welcoming manner. A smile of gratitude arched the edges of her raven lips.

A beautiful façade it was.

As the years grew longer, she became a bride of masquerade. Every evened deceitful smile came about deftly planned.

Her darken eyes searched the assortment of folk occupying her court. Those people, her people… they were teeming with such blinding ignorance of what lie beneath the frail shell of her silky alabaster skin.

It was as they should be. Mirana's duty was to shroud them under the pretense that everything was fine with her. What type of ruler would she be if she permitted her every burdening emotion to slither into public view? Being a monarch meant she must keep her wits about her.

Wits? Oh dear. They had died a horridly crushing death under the hammering force of her deep invading loneliness.

Alice. Alice.

Alice, her Champion. She was preparing to depart from this land, leave her alone once again to fend off the darkness licking at the heels of her eternally evading soul. Every step towards the castle doors, it tightened its grip to the walls of her seemingly hollowed insides, spreading thick like a tarry paste.

Her darkness, though never physical it was just as equally a part of her, an evil spiritual adjunct to her essence. Every so often when things became overwhelming, it would fuel the crippling ache nestled into the fibers being to maim and torture. Its bond to her remained firm since child birth, exchanged through their royal bloodline akin to a ghastly plague.

Iracebeth avidly sanctioned its consuming nature, sadly unaware she was a mere breathing puppet under its control. Not Mirana. She chose to suppress it… smother it only to have it bare fangs and snap back viciously at her. She wouldn't dare harm another living thing, but there are always undeniable consequences for this.

When she forced the vial of lavender Jabberwocky blood upon Alice's hands, her darkness seized its opportunity and pounced, distending…creeping over her slowly. She now knew what she must do. She was ready, she always were.

The door to her quarters came to close sealing her off from the rest of the world.

It was damning solitude. She kept her calm though, legs leading a path into her bathroom.

In here she would transform, blooming from the inside out into something no other creature in Underland had ever laid sights upon. Her languid motions mechanical, she reached just beyond the large porcelain claw-foot tub to a cleverly sited nook and retrieved a small velveteen box.

She settled it onto the sink's ledge. Her nimble fingers taking a brief second to fidget, she reached around herself and began the lengthy practice of unclasping the column of hooks on rungs that stretch down the length of her back. The offending always suffocating garment was pulled from her lax shoulders and dropped easily from her lithe form, creating a rippled pool of ivory at her feet.

The chilled air around her licked the range of newly exposed skin prompting a bout of gooseflesh to prickle over it. She stood clad only in her stunning corset and beautifully ruffled panties whos hems were attached to the tops of her cream colored stockings by a few straps and bows. She undid the straps and peeled the clinging material from her legs. Satisfied, a hand took a grasp onto the ebony box and she seated herself onto the slab of cold marble, her back against the side of the tub.

Craning her neck, her stoic gaze took to her left bare thigh at the sliver-esque scars that blemished the skin. Each served as one unique and intimate memory of prior episodes encountered. The pad of her thumb came to soothingly caress the strands of marred flesh. Of course there were potions to set the skin correct, Mirana, she would never dream of doing so.

They were notches that kept fed her darkness, a voucher of sorts that bargained the evil force from reigning over her. Without them she would be wholly consumed. She opened the box. It presented a single short razor. Its glinting presence triggered an intensely perverse simper to violate the monarch's full lips. A pleasant itch took to her hands. It was her key to sating this beast within her. The soulless entity watched on thru Mirana's cloudy irises…pulsing…beckoning her wildly…

Lips set tight in concentration she brought the blade down to an unscathed area on her thigh. She teased the skin, just faintly drifting the angular edge in a gentle scraping manner. A shudder rippled down her vertebrae and her lids fluttered closed sheathing her dimmed eyes. Beneath them her mind's vision fine tuned to Alice. Those golden wavy tresses, oh how she longed to grace her finger tips through them, to press her lips against the infinite softness of two pink lips, to be bathed by the hazel gaze that carried only the greatest warmth. The girl effortlessly cradled the fragile throbbing organ caged under her breast.

Yes.

So very foolish of her to think she would remain here by her side. Mirana had never before been so unforgivably selfish in her life until today.

Alice was leaving here, leaving her. A saddened ache took an excruciating vice to her heart and she instantly felt the sting of tears. She jadedly clenched her lids tighter, sending the salty liquid trickling down her flushed cheeks. The futility of weeping over the issue was sickening. Simple tears would not bring her Champion back to her. Nothing would. Alice was probably already walking around in her own world right now.

Mirana angrily cursed and opened her eyes. There wasn't time to waste. She must do this now. The evil dwelling would not lie in wait any longer. Regrettably erasing the serene depiction of her Champion in her mind, she donned a bitter smile and applied forceful pressure to the sharp tip of the razor. The edge eagerly bit through the delicate flesh, separating it with ease.

Her darkness mewled in the sweetest rapture, coiling, compressing, and swelling inside her.

A brief hiss of pain flew from Mirana's trembling lips; her hand carefully guiding the tool to produce one long semi deep cut. She watched in awe as the hot crimson liquid quickly poured from the wound, sailing down the curve of her thigh to pool onto the floor.

The Queen's chest caved in, lungs exhaling air in a sigh of delicious gratification. It served to quell a small portion of the cravings that had erupted from earlier, but she needed more.

More release... more pain… more blood. She yearned to watch it flow. She wanted the pain to split her skull. Not nearly sated, the darkness whined and twirled for her unspoken request to be fulfilled, equally if not greater.

The blade came down once again to another flawless patch of skin. Pearly teeth snagging her bottom lip, she dug the sharp metal across its whitened plains, this time harder. Searing pain shot from the laceration forcing a loud whimper to rip from the depths of her throat. The yelp curdled the silence filling the room, reverberating off the bleached walls.

As she fought to regain even breathing, her callous eyes studied the precious fluid that fervently drained from the deeper incision. Her fingers came down to lazily toy with large viscous puddle between her legs. She brought the tainted tips up for closer inspection, marveling at her work.

"_Such an exquisite sight."_ She mused within her thoughts, watching the blood trickle a path all the way down her palm. The darkness purred in perfect accord at the notion.

….

_Huff... Huff…  
_  
Shield and sword still in her hands, Alice was running.

Her chest pressed up and down within her breast-plate of the armor, lungs hungrily fluttering to sieve the oxygen that populated the air. The muscles in her thighs burned something fierce as she kept her swift and tenacious pace. The sensation went ignored though, she speeding across the last meadows that stretched before her destination.

She abruptly stopped to catch a breath near a large rock atop the hill that overlooked Marmoreal. Howling winds whistled through her wavy blonde locks, swaying the strands into a fury. It caressed her skin, granting its chill against the thin film of sweat plaguing her neck and brow. She sighed inwardly in gracious relief.

Peering out at the tops of the castle a knowing smile molded the curvature of her lips. This was now her home. The vial of Jabberwocky blood was lost… well maybe not much so. She ingeniously sent the tube drowning at the bottom of a pond she came across during her run through the forest. Happiness thrummed throughout her body with her decision and she desperately wanted to share it with one person in particular- the origin hidden behind her urgent speed, her Queen. She was the weight that tied her here.

The need to get to her was imperative, to inform her that she chose to stay. A greater need also accompanied this. It was one that involved Alice wrapping her arms around Mirana, kissing her, and spilling her every profound thought of just why the reason she chose to remain here. Alice had helplessly fallen in love with the White Queen. True affections felt strongly for Mirana, her heart entrapped those emotions and she believed it was due to bursting unless she revealed them.

Fear of the consequence was not a pressing matter. After beheading the Jabberwocky, Alice supposed there weren't a fear in the world surpassing the one that veered her soul when battling that horrid creature. It did not mean she wasn't nervous about it as well.

Ever since their meeting, Mirana expertly stirred feelings inside her like wind to fine dust. She must know if the emotions were mutual, if all the lingering glances and ample touches were meant for nothing.

Her breathing now leveled, she set out again in an unfaltering burst of speed to the castle of Marmoreal where she would see her… feel her…love her.

….

After gallantly basking in the wave of applause she received from all of Marmoreal's inhabitants, she finally came to the castle doors largely exhausted, nearly ripping them off in all her haste. The harsh sound of her clunky steel boots slapping against the pristine floors infringed upon the serene atmosphere in the throne room, echoing her every step.

Mirana's throne itself was vacant.

With the haphazard scheme of the innards of the castle still fresh in her mind from her stay, she twirled around and ran up the stairwell to the upper floors where she knew the White Queen's chamber lie.

….

**To be continued peoples! R&R pwease! Send me your thoughts and I will give free hugs! Meh, it is like 4am now that I'm finishing this, so I do apologize for any errors you may come across.**


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